I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
