exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
