Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize