We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
