1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize