so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
No subtext here. People are naked.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
