Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
