thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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