You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize