:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize