Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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