epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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