I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
