Can i not drive my cunt home
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
my liver is dry heaving
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
