I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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