I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
