we're blogging at a bar
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
