Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You need Xanax blowdarts
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
