please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
