There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
