only if we run a train.
done.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Someone came in the potted fern
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
