Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
