Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
