google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
