I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
