kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
