So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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