I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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