Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
