it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
