Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
not ubering you a puppy
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
