hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
