...so i touched it.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
