He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
