would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
