my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
