his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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