after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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