Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
