hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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