I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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