he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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