do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize