Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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