remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
