If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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