i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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