did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
