Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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