yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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