all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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