I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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