I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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