i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i would punch a child for taco bell
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
