it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
