Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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