Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
