Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
