I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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