his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
