You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
