Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize