Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
