Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
only if we run a train.
done.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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