so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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