I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
