hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize