the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
