Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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