This girl is more easily done than said...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize