your thong is hanging out like whoa
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
