Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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